Not every “I’m sorry” is meant to heal. Dear Survivor, Some survivors tell me they feel crazy for doubting apologies. They hear “I’m sorry,” and part of them wants to believe it, hold it, make it mean something. But then nothing changes. Or worse, the kindness fades and the harm returns, often quickly. This isn’t […]
When Apologies Are Just Another Weapon Read More »
Every survivor needs a foundation of safety before healing can begin. Dear Colleague, Survivors often walk into our offices carrying invisible alarms that never turn off. Safety is not just physical. It includes emotional, psychological, and financial dimensions that are frequently overlooked. As providers, we are not only asked to recognize danger. We are also
Every Survivor Deserves to Feel Safe. Here’s Where We Start Read More »
One of the most devastating effects of abuse is when a survivor begins to doubt their own mind. Dear Survivor, My friend Joanna once sat across from me and said something I’ll never forget. “You know,” she whispered, “I thought I was crazy, but it was just gaslighting.” She shared story after story of how
I Thought I Was Crazy But It Was the Gaslighting Read More »
Sometimes the systems we create for safety end up reinforcing control. Dear Colleague, We are taught to protect survivors, but protection can look a lot like power. When we take over a survivor’s safety plan, we may unintentionally mirror the dynamics they are trying to escape. Safety built on control, even benevolent control, can feel
What If Everything We Know About Survivor Safety Is Wrong Read More »
There is a quiet power in hearing yourself again after surviving what tried to silence you. Dear Survivor, Your voice is still yours. It may feel buried beneath doubt or fear, but it has never truly left you. I remember the first moment I heard mine clearly again. It happened during a small decision, one
Survivor Strength: Reclaiming Your Inner Voice Read More »
Minimizing your pain doesn’t make you stronger — it only makes healing harder. Dear Survivor, How many times did you tell yourself, “It wasn’t that bad”? Maybe you stayed because you thought others had it worse. Maybe you believed love meant forgiving everything. Maybe your abusive partner convinced you that the harm wasn’t real. Gaslighting
The Myth of “It Wasn’t That Bad” Read More »
Curiosity, not assumptions, creates the emotional safety survivors need to truly heal. Dear Colleague, In our work with survivors of domestic violence and relationship abuse, the simple act of staying curious can be one of our greatest tools. As providers, cultivating open curiosity strengthens our ability to truly walk alongside survivors in their trauma recovery.
The Power of Curiosity: A Survivor-Centered Approach Read More »
Healing after trauma is rarely a straight line — it’s a winding path that survivors must walk at their own pace, with curiosity as our greatest companion. Dear Colleague, When I first began working with survivors, I thought my role was to guide them swiftly toward solutions. The bravest thing we can do as therapists
The Survivor’s Journey: How Curiosity Transforms the Healing Process Read More »
There’s something powerful about knowing you’re not alone — and this month, survivors around the world are rising together. Dear Survivor, April holds deep meaning in our community — it’s Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and next week, we honor Denim Day — a movement that began as a protest against victim-blaming and has since become
Survivor Voices: This April, We Rise Together Read More »
If you’ve experienced domestic violence or relationship abuse, it can be hard to make sense of what you’re going through. You might feel confused, overwhelmed, or question your own reality. These feelings are common—but they don’t change the fact that what’s happening (or has happened) to you is not your fault. Here are 3 simple
3 Simple Truths Every Survivor Deserves to Hear Read More »