Some of the hardest chains to break are the ones we can’t see.
Dear Survivor,
Trauma bonds don’t feel like abuse at first. They feel like hope: a promise that the love will come back, that the bad days are just a phase, that things will get better if you just try harder. These bonds form in cycles of cruelty and kindness, keeping you emotionally tethered to someone who harms you. You’re not imagining it. This is real, and it is one of the strongest tools of control an abuser uses.
You don’t stay because you’re weak. You stay because your nervous system is trying to survive.
The trauma bonds lie to you!
Even after you leave, the pain of the bond can linger. You might feel confused by how much you miss them or ashamed that you still care. That is not your fault. Intermittent reinforcement, the pattern of love followed by harm, can create a chemical addiction that clouds judgment and deepens self-doubt.
The ache to return is not love. It is a trauma response.
Sometimes, survivors feel more alone after leaving. The silence can be louder than the chaos. Without the emotional rollercoaster, your nervous system may feel lost, even numb. That is part of the detox. Your body and heart are learning what safety feels like, and that can take time.
Understanding these dynamics can loosen their grip. It helps to name the tactics and the harm. If you need support identifying what you endured, this Types of Abuse Worksheet can offer clarity and validation. Healing starts with telling the truth, even when it is painful.
You didn’t cause this, and you don’t have to carry it alone.
Blessings and healing,
#MentalHealthAwareness #TraumaBonding #HealingJourney #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #WhyIStayed #DomesticViolenceAwareness #EmotionalAbuseSurvivor #CoerciveControl #BreakTheCycle #YouAreNotAlone