Control doesn’t always come with raised voices or bruises.
Dear Survivor,
Coercive control is one of the most overlooked forms of abuse. It is a slow unraveling of your autonomy, your confidence, and your voice. It shows up as monitoring, isolation, subtle put-downs, or rules that shift without warning. The goal is not just power. It is dominance over your choices, your thoughts, and your reality.
Many survivors say they didn’t even know it was happening until they felt like a stranger in their own life.
This kind of emotional abuse does not rely on physical violence. Instead, it manipulates your fear and guilt. It might look like a partner demanding access to your phone, controlling your finances, or keeping you away from friends and family. Over time, these patterns shrink your world until you begin to doubt yourself more than them.
The silence around this type of abuse can be just as harmful as the behavior itself.
I remember a client who once said, “He never hit me, but I haven’t made a decision by myself in years.” Her story is one of many. Coercive control often makes survivors feel they are overreacting, even as their freedom disappears. Naming it is the first step back to self-trust. You are not being dramatic. You are being diminished, and it matters.
Coercive control is invisible until it’s everywhere.
If this resonates with you, I encourage you to explore this Types of Abuse Worksheet. It can help you identify what is happening and offer language for what you’ve endured. This is the first step towards healing.
You deserve to feel safe, seen, and free.
Blessings and healing,
Catrina
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