March 20, 2025
Hello friends,
Abuse isn’t always easy to spot, especially when it comes from someone close to you. It can start subtly and escalate over time, often leaving you questioning your own experiences. But here’s an important truth: abuse is never okay, and you deserve to feel safe and respected in your relationships.
This newsletter is here to empower you to recognize the signs of abuse, understand its many forms, and connect you with resources that can support you on your healing journey. Remember, knowledge is power, and with awareness comes the ability to take the first steps toward safety and freedom.
10 Red Flags of Emotional and Physical Abuse to Watch For
If you are noticing troubling patterns in a current or past relationship, here are 10 red flags to keep in mind:
- Controlling Behavior Are they monitoring your phone, telling you what you can or cannot do, or isolating you from loved ones? Control often masks itself as “concern,” but over time, it limits your freedom.
- Constant Criticism or Put-Downs Do they belittle your achievements, appearance, or intelligence? Emotional abuse often chips away at your self-esteem.
- Unpredictable Mood Swings or Explosive Anger Do you feel like you have to “walk on eggshells”? Frequent outbursts can be used to intimidate and create fear.
- Gaslighting Have you been made to question your memory, reality, or sanity? Phrases like “You’re too sensitive” or “That never happened” often aim to manipulate your perception.
- Excessive Jealousy Are they suspicious of your actions or excessively possessive? Jealousy can become a tool to control your relationships and activities.
- Threats or Intimidation Do they threaten to harm you, themselves, or others to get their way? Even if the threats are not carried out, intimidation creates a harmful environment.
- Physical Aggression Have they pushed, slapped, or caused harm to you in any physical way? Physical violence, no matter how “minor” it may seem, is never justified.
- Financial Control Are they restricting your access to money, monitoring your spending, or taking financial decisions out of your hands? Financial abuse is a tool to limit independence.
- Sabotaging or Breaking Boundaries Do they undermine your personal goals, like work or education? Refusing to respect your boundaries is a hallmark of unhealthy dynamics.
- Withholding Affection or Silent Treatment Are they using love, affection, or communication as a bargaining chip in the relationship? Withholding as punishment can be a subtle form of control.
If you recognize any of these signs, it’s crucial to remind yourself that abuse is never your fault. You are not alone, and there are people who want to help you.
Understanding the Types of Abuse
Abuse doesn’t always fit into a single box. It can take many forms, from emotional and financial to physical and even digital. To learn more about the different types of abuse and how they may manifest, check out this resource that breaks down the complexities of abuse in an easy-to-understand format:
This tool is a great starting point to identify and name what you may have experienced. Awareness is the first step toward regaining your power.
Connecting to Resources
If you’re looking for help or guidance, know that resources are available to you. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is free, confidential, and available 24/7 to offer support. You can call them at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788.
They can provide guidance on creating a safety plan, finding shelter, or simply being a listening ear when you need someone to talk to.
You Deserve Safety and Support
No matter what you’ve been through, you are worthy of safety, respect, and love. Recognizing the signs of abuse is a powerful first step toward reclaiming your life. Surround yourself with supportive people and tap into resources that can guide you forward. You are never alone on this path.
Together, we can create a world where everyone feels safe and valued in their relationships. You’ve got this.
With care,
Catrina