Safety begins not with advice, but with deep, attuned presence
Some of the most powerful work we do begins with what we don’t say.
Dear Colleague,
Survivors often enter therapy already bracing for judgment. They’ve been blamed, doubted, and silenced. Sometimes this comes from the very systems meant to help them. When we meet their stories with curiosity, warmth, and cultural humility, we create a rare kind of safety. This safety can be the start of healing.
The words we choose in intake and assessment matter more than we think.
Asking “Are you safe at home?” may shut down a conversation before it begins. Instead, try “How does your partner treat you when you disagree?” or “Have you ever felt controlled or monitored in your relationship?” These are subtle shifts. But they invite fuller answers. For survivors of emotional abuse, financial abuse, or coercive control, it’s often the first time anyone has asked in a way that makes space for the truth.
Survivor safety starts with small choices that build big trust.
One way to strengthen your practice is to use the Red Flags of Abuse Freebie as a visual support during early sessions. You can normalize the handout by saying, “This is something I use with many clients to explore relationship patterns.” Offering education rather than interrogation helps survivors feel empowered, not exposed. It also lets them process on their own timeline.
Survivors need providers who listen first, speak second, and never rush the story.
When we hold this posture, we reduce the harm of retraumatization and increase the chance that disclosures will unfold safely and fully. You don’t have to do everything perfectly. You just have to start with presence and a commitment to protect survivor safety at every turn.
With appreciation for all you do,
Catrina LPCS
#survivorsafety #traumainformedcare #emotionalabuse #coercivecontrol #providereducation