When your heart whispers what your mind can’t quite name, it’s time to listen.
Dear Survivor,
It takes incredible courage to even entertain the thought: I think I’m in an abusive relationship but not sure. That uncertainty can feel like a fog, especially when you’ve been told you’re overreacting, too emotional, or imagining things. Abuse thrives in confusion, and many survivors struggle to see their own experience clearly while they’re still living inside it.
Abuse is not always physical. It can look like silent treatment, controlling behavior, gaslighting, constant criticism, or love that feels conditional. It can sound like, “You’re lucky I put up with you,” or “You’re too sensitive.” Over time, these moments chip away at your sense of reality and leave you questioning your own instincts. If you feel afraid, anxious, or small in your own relationship, something is not right.
Doubt is not proof that nothing happened.
Your relationship may have highs that feel intoxicating, followed by lows that leave you shaken. This cycle of unpredictability can make it hard to trust yourself. You might justify their behavior because of stress, childhood trauma, or because you’ve seen them be kind. But abuse is about patterns, not moments. If you feel diminished more often than you feel safe, your feelings are telling you something important.
Saying “I think I’m in an abusive relationship but not sure” is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign that something inside you is waking up.
To help you gain clarity, I recommend the Types of Abuse Worksheet. It breaks down forms of abuse that are often missed or dismissed. You do not have to label your experience to deserve support. You only need to honor what you feel.
You are worthy of peace, clarity, and freedom.
Blessings and healing,
Catrina
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