Sometimes the systems we create for safety end up reinforcing control.
Dear Colleague,
We are taught to protect survivors, but protection can look a lot like power.
When we take over a survivor’s safety plan, we may unintentionally mirror the dynamics they are trying to escape. Safety built on control, even benevolent control, can feel oppressive. Survivors need partners, not overseers. Walk with them, not for them.
Survivor Safety is not a checklist. It is a living, relational process.
What feels safe today may not feel safe tomorrow. Trauma informed care means adjusting, asking, and co-creating instead of assuming or blaming. Survivors often know their risks better than we do. Ask questions to understand the history and the obvious risks. Explore the possibility of unexpected risks.
Well-meaning protocols can sometimes override survivor voice.
A rigid referral flow or timeline might meet agency needs but fail to honor the survivor’s pace. Empowerment means slowing down to listen, not speeding up to fix. Our structure must always make space for their story.
The most effective support begins with consent, not correction.
Safety is not something we install around survivors. It is something we build beside them. Every choice should reinforce their ability to trust themselves again.
You can open that conversation using the Types of Abuse Worksheet. It provides a good visual of different types of abuse that resonates with their experiences. It is validating and powerful. Receiving this type of validation is so important for their healing journey. Survivors seek out confirmation that what they experienced was abuse. Seeing it in writing is more powerful that the words we can say. It is easier to believe in this format.
With appreciation for all you do,
#supportsurvivors #traumainformedcare #survivorsafety #providereducation #healingafterabuse