It is not defiance. It is protection. And sometimes, it is clarity.
Dear Colleague,
Survivor resistance can show up in quiet ways. A canceled session. A non-answer to a powerful question. A shift in energy when a certain topic comes up. As providers, it is tempting to interpret this as avoidance or denial. But more often, it is self-protection. Or even wisdom.
Resistance tells us something important. We just have to listen.
It is not always fear. Sometimes it is misalignment.
Survivors may resist when they are not ready. They may also resist when our goals are not their goals. We might be moving toward leaving, while they are still working toward emotional safety or stability. What we label as resistance might actually be insight about pace, timing, or trust.
Curiosity is the antidote. So is going at their pace.
Instead of pushing through, get curious. Ask what feels hard about moving forward. Ask what they need more of, or less of, from you. And let their readiness—not our urgency—lead the process. This is how we practice trauma informed care. This is how we build sustainable connection.
Need space to process your own responses to resistance?
Join our Monthly Free Peer Support Group to reflect, connect, and build skills in community. I’m also offering a free 1-hour CE , click here to register.
With appreciation for all you do,
#survivorsafety #traumainformedcare #supportsurvivors #providereducation #healingafterabuse