Not all abuse leaves bruises. Some of the deepest wounds are emotional—and they’re often hidden in plain sight.
Dear Colleague,
Recognizing the signs of emotional abuse is essential when working with survivors of domestic violence and relationship trauma. Unlike physical violence, emotional abuse often leaves no visible marks, but its impact can be just as severe and long-lasting.
Survivors may minimize or question their own experiences, especially when gaslighting, blame-shifting, and subtle control have been part of the relationship for years. They may say, “It wasn’t that bad,” or, “At least they never hit me,” even while describing patterns that clearly erode their self-worth.
Common red flags include:
- Isolation from family and friends
- Constant criticism or belittling
- Intense jealousy or possessiveness
- Being monitored or controlled—emotionally, financially, or digitally
- Shaming, stonewalling, or emotional withdrawal as punishment
These are not just difficult dynamics. They are warning signs that emotional abuse is happening. And safety has been compromised.
As clinicians, it’s critical to trust your gut—even when there are no reports of physical harm. Survivors may not recognize emotional abuse as abuse. They may have internalized the belief that they’re overreacting or too sensitive, especially if that’s what they were told for years.
By gently naming these patterns and offering language that validates the survivor’s reality, we help lay the groundwork for healing. Emotional abuse recovery begins with clarity, compassion, and a space where the survivor’s voice is no longer silenced.
When we identify emotional abuse early, we can interrupt trauma bonds and support survivors in reclaiming boundaries, rebuilding self-trust, and imagining life beyond control.
👉 Resource to Support Your Practice: Red Flags of Abuse Freebie
Use this printable in session to help clients explore subtle warning signs they may have been taught to ignore.
With appreciation for all you do,
Catrina LPCS
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