Survivors are not naive. They are being carefully conditioned.
Dear Colleague,
One of the most confusing parts of emotional abuse is how intensely loving it can feel in the beginning. Survivors often describe a whirlwind. Affection, flattery, gifts, fast commitment. It is intoxicating. And it is strategic.
This is love bombing, and it is not love. It is manipulative and coercive.
When the affection fades, bread crumbing begins.
The calls become inconsistent. The promises are vague. The connection unpredictable. Just when the survivor begins to pull away, a sweet text or small act of kindness shows up. It reignites hope. But it never lasts. And the cycle begins again.
This is bread crumbing. And it keeps survivors in a loop of longing and doubt. Round and round it goes.
These tactics wire the nervous system to crave and collapse.
Love bombing and bread crumbing reinforce the trauma bonds. The highs are euphoric. The lows are destabilizing. Survivors often internalize blame, wondering why they cannot stop wanting someone who hurts them. But the truth is that their system has been trained to equate instability with attachment.
Love bombing is not romantic. It is a tactic of control dressed in affection. Survivors are not drawn in because they lack discernment. They are responding to a highly persuasive sequence of behaviors that feels like intimacy but is rooted in power. The gifts, the compliments, the quick declarations are not random acts of love. They are calculated efforts to build dependence, to flood the nervous system with intensity, and to create the illusion of deep connection before trust has even formed.
This is not love. It is manipulation in disguise.
Your role is to name the pattern and hold space for the grief.
Help survivors identify these dynamics using the Types of Abuse Worksheet. Validate their confusion. Reflect the cycles without judgment. And give them space to mourn the version of the relationship they were promised.
With appreciation for all you do,
Catrina LPCS
#lovebombing #breadcrumbing #traumabond #supportsurvivors #emotionalabuse