Understanding manipulation tactics is key to helping survivors stay empowered and safe in their abusive relationship.
Dear Colleague,
Two concepts every survivor — and provider — needs to understand are gray rocking and bread crumbing.
- Gray rocking is a boundary-setting technique where a survivor becomes as uninteresting and emotionally unresponsive as possible to the manipulative partner, minimizing engagement. It is about remaining safe and un-activated in the moment.
- Bread crumbing happens when an abuser offers occasional small gestures of affection or promises of change, keeping the survivor hooked without true accountability. It is manipulative and can promote hope for the survivor to expect change or something new in the relationship. It is difficult for the survivor to recognize this behavioral pattern.
- Teaching these concepts can empower survivors to recognize manipulation early and stay focused on their emotional safety and healing journey. Helping them draw these connections and giving them words to describe what is happening is quite powerful.
When survivors know what to expect, they can protect their energy, set stronger boundaries, and move forward more confidently. Helping them to identify and predict the cycle of abuse in their relationship can make all the difference.
👉 Free Monthly Resource to Support Your Practice: Monthly Free Peer Support Group. Consider joining our free monthly peer group that meets the second Monday (7pm central time) of each month. The focus is on case consultation for cases involving survivors of domestic violence and relationship abuse.
With appreciation for all you do,
Catrina LPCS
P.S. The work you do is very important and needed. You take in difficult cases and you need space and time for yourself. Remember to practice what you preach and engage in regular self care and coping strategies.
#grayrocking #breadcruming #manipulativepartner #survivor #emotionalsafety #healingjourney