March 24, 2025
Hi there,
We know that sometimes, life can feel unbearably heavy. If you’re a survivor of domestic violence or someone who loves and supports a survivor, please know that you are not alone. Healing isn’t a straight path, and it’s okay to move at your own pace. Recovery takes time, and the people who walk beside you on this road play a powerful role in lighting the way forward.
This newsletter is all about how friends and family can become that light for survivors. It’s not about fixing things or forcing decisions; it’s about being a safe and steady presence. You don’t have to have all the answers. Sometimes, just being there is enough.
How Friends and Family Can Support Survivors
When someone you care about is in a situation or has lived through one that’s as heartbreaking as domestic violence, it’s natural to want to “fix” things right away. But the truth is, your role isn’t to solve everything or rush their healing process. Instead, focus on offering steady, unconditional love and a space that feels safe. Here’s how you can do that:
1. Keep the Door Open
Survivors may pull away. They may feel isolated and ashamed, or even struggle with leaving or staying gone. The most important thing you can do is to keep letting them know that you’re here, no matter what. A simple, “I’m here for you whenever you’re ready” can mean the world. They may not knock on that door today or tomorrow, but knowing it’s unlocked and waiting for them can give them hope.
2. Listen Without Judging
When a survivor shares with you, just listen. It can take an enormous amount of courage to open up. Avoid saying things like, “I don’t know why you stayed so long,” or “I would’ve left right away.” Comments like these, even if well-meaning, can make them feel judged. Instead, focus on what they’re saying and validate their feelings with something like, “Thank you for sharing that with me. I know that must’ve been so hard.”
3. Be Kind, Without Enabling
Kindness doesn’t mean supporting unhealthy patterns. It means being there without judgment but encouraging positive choices. For instance, if they’re thinking of going back to an abusive partner, you don’t have to agree with their decision. But instead of shutting them out, say something like, “I’m worried about your safety, and I’ll always be here if you need support.”
4. Know When to Offer Resources
You aren’t expected to be a counselor or an expert. That’s where sharing valuable resources comes in. One incredible tool is the Recovery Roadmap. This free resource is designed to help survivors on their healing journey. Sometimes, sharing a link to a roadmap like this can make all the difference.
5. Take Care of Yourself, Too
When you love someone who has experienced domestic violence, it’s easy to lose yourself in their pain. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Seek support for yourself if you need it—even if it’s just talking to a friend or counselor about what you’re going through as someone in their support system. You matter, too.
Share the Light
If this newsletter or the Recovery Roadmap might help someone else, please pass it along. The road to healing can feel impossibly lonely, but every little bit of kindness shared has the power to create hope. You never know who might need to hear these words or see these resources.
Sometimes, being a loving presence in a survivor’s life isn’t just about catching them when they fall. It’s about walking alongside them, at their pace, as they find their footing again.
Whether you’re a survivor yourself or you’re standing beside someone as they rise, we want to remind you of one thing today, one simple truth infused with all the love we can send your way:
You are not alone.
Take care,
Catrina