March 21, 2025
Dear Survivors,
You deserve relationships built on love, mutual respect, and safety. But for many survivors, the emotional chains of trauma bonding make it difficult to break away from unhealthy or abusive dynamics. You’re not alone, and it’s possible to find freedom and healing.
Today, we’re focusing on trauma bonding — what it is, how to recognize it, and how to take steps toward support and recovery.
What Is Trauma Bonding (And What It’s Not)?
Trauma bonding is a powerful emotional attachment that forms between a survivor and their abuser, often during repeated cycles of abuse and reconciliation. These bonds grow out of inconsistent kindness paired with control, fear, and harm.
It is NOT love, though it can feel similar at times. Rather than nurturing and honoring you, trauma bonding keeps you tethered to a partner or situation that endangers your safety, self-esteem, or well-being.
Signs of trauma bonding might include:
- Feeling loyal to someone who has hurt you.
- Making excuses for their abusive behavior.
- Believing that things will change if you are “better” or “try harder.”
- Staying because you feel you cannot live without them, despite the harm they’ve caused.
Recognizing this pattern is the first step toward healing.
Resources to Help You Take Action
Healing from trauma bonding requires support and self-compassion. You’re not alone; there are people and tools ready to help you.
- Seek Help Reach out to trusted professionals or organizations. The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides confidential, 24/7 support to help you create a plan and take the next steps toward safety.
- Identify Patterns of Abuse Download this Types of Abuse Worksheet to reflect on your relationship and uncover behaviors you may not have recognized before. Often, seeing things clearly on paper can be a powerful motivator to take action.
- Build Your Network of Support Seek out support groups, therapists, or trusted friends. Reclaiming your life is a process, and having a community by your side can make all the difference.
Believe Change Is Possible
Leaving an abusive relationship or recovering from the dynamics of trauma bonding doesn’t happen overnight, but every step you take is progress worth celebrating. You have the courage within you to take control of your life again.
Call to Action
We encourage you to take one of these empowering steps today:
- Download the worksheet to gain clarity on what you’ve been experiencing.
- Call the hotline to speak with someone who will listen, understand, and help guide you.
- Share this newsletter with someone who might need it. You never know whose life you could change.
Remember, you are strong, and you are worth it. Together, we can work toward breaking these bonds and creating a brighter, safer future.
With compassion,
Catrina