Survivors are not naive. They are being carefully conditioned. Dear Colleague, One of the most confusing parts of emotional abuse is how intensely loving it can feel in the beginning. Survivors often describe a whirlwind. Affection, flattery, gifts, fast commitment. It is intoxicating. And it is strategic. This is love bombing, and it is not […]
From Love Bombing to Bread Crumbing: How Survivors Get Hooked Read More »
Sometimes freedom carries unexpected grief and it can feel confusing. Dear Survivor, A survivor once told me that the more she healed, the worse she felt. She was no longer walking on eggshells, yet she carried a quiet ache. She felt guilty for laughing. Guilty for moving on. Guilty for feeling okay when others she
Survivor Guilt: Why Healing Can Feel Like Betrayal Read More »
When we release control, we make room for survivors to reclaim theirs. Dear Colleague, Survivor decisions are not always what we expect. Some stay. Some leave and return. Some say yes in session and no in real life. These moments can feel disheartening, even confusing. But they are not wrong. They are information. Every choice
Every Choice Is a Step: Honoring Survivor Decision-Making Read More »
Sometimes silence feels more threatening than chaos. Dear Survivor, One woman I worked with described how anxious she felt in her first healthy relationship. There were no raised voices, no sudden mood swings, no punishments for speaking her mind. On the outside, everything looked calm. But inside, she was panicked. Her body could not relax,
The Hidden Fear of Peace After Abuse Read More »
Feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’re broken, it means your heart is asking for something more. Dear Survivor, If you’ve whispered to yourself, I feel stuck in my relationship, that feeling deserves attention. Stuck can look like staying when you want to leave, loving someone who keeps hurting you, or feeling trapped in patterns that never
Why Do I Feel Stuck in My Relationship? Read More »
It is not defiance. It is protection. And sometimes, it is clarity. Dear Colleague, Survivor resistance can show up in quiet ways. A canceled session. A non-answer to a powerful question. A shift in energy when a certain topic comes up. As providers, it is tempting to interpret this as avoidance or denial. But more
When Survivor Resistance: What It Really Means Read More »
Love is not always enough, but understanding can be everything. Dear Survivor, A client once shared how isolating it felt after she left her abusive partner. People praised her for being brave, but when she struggled to sleep, missed her ex, or doubted her decision, they grew impatient. They told her to just move on,
What Survivors Really Need from Their Support System Read More »
You are not broken. You are absorbing what is too much for one heart to carry alone. Dear Colleague, Vicarious trauma is not a personal failing. It is a natural response to holding story after story of harm, survival, and resilience. It builds slowly. One session, one disclosure, one crisis at a time. And often,
Caring Comes at a Cost: Vicarious Trauma in Survivor Work Read More »
It didn’t feel brave, it felt terrifying. Dear Survivor, One client once described a moment that changed her life. She had spent years silencing herself to keep the peace, believing that pleasing others was the safest way to survive. Every time she wanted to say “No,” she swallowed it, afraid of what might come next.
The Power of Saying No in Abuse Recovery Read More »
What looks like protection may actually be power and control. Financial abuse is real and, often, very covert. Dear Colleague, Financial abuse is one of the least recognized forms of control in intimate partner violence. It often hides behind the appearance of care. A partner offers to manage the bills, handle the bank account, or
When Care Is Control: Understanding Financial Abuse in Survivors’ Lives Read More »