Love is not always enough, but understanding can be everything. Dear Survivor, A client once shared how isolating it felt after she left her abusive partner. People praised her for being brave, but when she struggled to sleep, missed her ex, or doubted her decision, they grew impatient. They told her to just move on, […]
What Survivors Really Need from Their Support System Read More »
It didn’t feel brave, it felt terrifying. Dear Survivor, One client once described a moment that changed her life. She had spent years silencing herself to keep the peace, believing that pleasing others was the safest way to survive. Every time she wanted to say “No,” she swallowed it, afraid of what might come next.
The First Time I Said “No” and Meant It Read More »
Love shouldn’t feel like walking on eggshells. Dear Survivor, At first, it may have looked like devotion. The constant check-ins, the jealousies framed as care, the need to be with you all the time. It felt like intensity, passion, maybe even romance. Then came the slow unraveling of your freedom. They made your world smaller
How to Recognize Coercive Control When Love Is the Bait Read More »
Doubt does not always come from within, sometimes it is taught. Dear Survivor, One of the most painful truths survivors share with me is this: “I don’t know how to trust myself anymore.” That feeling does not come out of nowhere. It is built, piece by piece, through patterns of gaslighting. When someone repeatedly denies
How Gaslighting Stole My Voice Read More »
Not every “I’m sorry” is meant to heal. Dear Survivor, Some survivors tell me they feel crazy for doubting apologies. They hear “I’m sorry,” and part of them wants to believe it, hold it, make it mean something. But then nothing changes. Or worse, the kindness fades and the harm returns, often quickly. This isn’t
When Apologies Are Just Another Weapon Read More »
Feeling like you’re “too much” is often the scar left by someone who made you feel like not enough or too needy. Dear Survivor, I can’t tell you how many survivors I’ve met who shrink themselves before they even speak. They hesitate to share their feelings, fearing they’ll overwhelm or inconvenience someone. Many were told
Dear Survivor: You Are Not Too Much Read More »
Longing for someone who hurt you does not mean you’re broken. Dear Survivor, Many I work with tell me how confusing it feels to miss their abusive partner. They ask themselves, “Do I want to be hurt?” “What’s wrong with me?” “Why do I still love someone who caused me pain?” These questions are incredibly
Why Do I Still Miss Them? Read More »
Some choices save your life even when they shatter your heart. Dear Survivor, “The day I blocked him, my hands were shaking so badly I could barely hold the phone. I felt nauseous, terrified, and strangely guilty. No one had taught me how to walk away from someone who claimed to love me while tearing
Going No Contact Nearly Broke Me But I Would Do It Again Read More »
Missing someone who hurt you does not mean you’re broken. It means you’re human. Dear Survivor, A survivor once asked me, “Why do I still miss him? After everything he did, why do I still feel drawn to him?” That question lives inside so many survivors. And it’s often followed by shame. The answer, more
Why Do I Miss My Abusive Ex? Read More »
One of the most devastating effects of abuse is when a survivor begins to doubt their own mind. Dear Survivor, My friend Joanna once sat across from me and said something I’ll never forget. “You know,” she whispered, “I thought I was crazy, but it was just gaslighting.” She shared story after story of how
I Thought I Was Crazy But It Was the Gaslighting Read More »