When survivors do not know what they like, want, or feel, that is not dysfunction. That is trauma.
Dear Colleague,
One of the quietest wounds survivors carry is the erosion of self. After prolonged coercive control, even simple choices can feel overwhelming. Survivors may struggle to name their preferences, identify their values, or make basic decisions without fear or second guessing.
This is not about indecisiveness. It is about survival.
Reclaiming identity is not a return to who they were. It is becoming who they get to be.
Your role in this work is sacred. You are not there to guide their choices, but to help them trust their own. Giving space to explore values, ask questions, and choose without influence is deeply reparative. The goal is not clarity overnight. It is permission to wonder, to feel, and to begin again.
Sometimes the most empowering thing we can do is pause and listen.
Let your client take the lead. Before offering opinions, reflect what you hear. Let them feel their own voice land in the room. Healing from coercive control requires us to practice relational safety in every session. It may seem slow from the outside, but each authentic decision is a reclaiming of self.
Remind them they are not alone. Invite them into community.
Our Monthly Free Peer Support Group is a safe and welcoming space for providers walking with survivors. Come recharge and reconnect with others doing this deeply meaningful work.
With appreciation for all you do,
#supportsurvivors #coercivecontrol #reclaimingidentity #healingafterabuse #traumainformedcare