Missing someone who hurt you does not mean you’re broken. It means you’re human. Dear Survivor, A survivor once asked me, “Why do I still miss him? After everything he did, why do I still feel drawn to him?” That question lives inside so many survivors. And it’s often followed by shame. The answer, more […]
Why Do I Miss My Abusive Ex? Read More »
One of the most devastating effects of abuse is when a survivor begins to doubt their own mind. Dear Survivor, My friend Joanna once sat across from me and said something I’ll never forget. “You know,” she whispered, “I thought I was crazy, but it was just gaslighting.” She shared story after story of how
I Thought I Was Crazy But It Was the Gaslighting Read More »
Caring deeply is not the same as being equipped to help safely. Dear Colleague, Even the most compassionate provider can cause harm without realizing it. When we rely solely on empathy without examining our approach, we may unintentionally silence or steer survivors. What we think is support can feel like control when it overrides their
Why Good Intentions Cannot Stand Alone in Survivor Support Read More »
Grief can come not just from loss, but from finally seeing the truth. Dear Survivor, Letting go of an illusion can hurt more than letting go of a person. I remember grieving not just the relationship, but the future I imagined, the words I believed, the version of love I tried to hold together. It
Survivor Grief: Letting Go of the Relationship You Thought You Had Read More »
Sometimes the systems we create for safety end up reinforcing control. Dear Colleague, We are taught to protect survivors, but protection can look a lot like power. When we take over a survivor’s safety plan, we may unintentionally mirror the dynamics they are trying to escape. Safety built on control, even benevolent control, can feel
What If Everything We Know About Survivor Safety Is Wrong Read More »
There is a quiet power in hearing yourself again after surviving what tried to silence you. Dear Survivor, Your voice is still yours. It may feel buried beneath doubt or fear, but it has never truly left you. I remember the first moment I heard mine clearly again. It happened during a small decision, one
Survivor Strength: Reclaiming Your Inner Voice Read More »
Sometimes even our most encouraging words can leave survivors of abusive relationship feeling unseen. Dear Colleague, Empowerment language can become a burden when survivors are not ready to carry it. Phrases like “you’re so strong” or “you’ve got this” are meant to uplift, but they can land as expectations. Survivors may feel they have to
When Empowered Starts to Feel Like Pressure Read More »
Healing doesn’t always move in a straight line. Dear Survivor, I thought leaving would be the hard part. I believed that once I got out, the pain would fade and peace would follow. I imagined progress would feel like clarity, like I had crossed a finish line. But instead, I found myself triggered by small
Survivor Strength: Healing Isn’t Linear and That’s Okay Read More »
Sometimes, the bravest thing a survivor can say is no more. Dear Survivor, There was a moment in my own journey when I whispered two words that would change everything: no more. I didn’t shout them. There was no dramatic scene. Just a quiet declaration made in the middle of an ordinary day that felt
Survivor Wisdom: The Power of No More Read More »
Some of the most dangerous moments in a survivor’s life happen right after they decide to leave. Dear Colleague, Leaving is often the most life threatening decision a survivor can make. Studies show that women are 70 times more likely to be killed in the weeks after leaving than at any other time in the
Survivors Are Dying to Leave. Literally. Read More »