Understanding Empathy Overload and Its Effects Caring deeply is not the problem. Carrying it all alone might be. Dear Colleague, You listen to trauma stories every day. You hold space for grief, fear, rage, and despair. You try to be present, steady, and safe. And some days, that gets harder. That heaviness you feel? It […]
Understanding Empathy Overload: Signs and Solutions Read More »
Emotional Abuse Recovery: Healing from the Past Grieving the good moments does not mean you asked for the bad ones. Dear Survivor, One survivor said it best: “If he had been awful all the time, I would have left sooner.” She remembered the way he made her laugh, the quiet nights when he held her,
Emotional Abuse Recovery: Healing from the Pain Read More »
Love is not always enough, but understanding can be everything. Dear Survivor, A client once shared how isolating it felt after she left her abusive partner. People praised her for being brave, but when she struggled to sleep, missed her ex, or doubted her decision, they grew impatient. They told her to just move on,
What Survivors Really Need from Their Support System Read More »
You are not broken. You are absorbing what is too much for one heart to carry alone. Dear Colleague, Vicarious trauma is not a personal failing. It is a natural response to holding story after story of harm, survival, and resilience. It builds slowly. One session, one disclosure, one crisis at a time. And often,
Caring Comes at a Cost: Vicarious Trauma in Survivor Work Read More »
It is not weakness. It is conditioning. And it is trauma. Dear Colleague, One of the most painful things providers witness is when a survivor returns to a harmful relationship. It can feel heartbreaking and disorienting. But what looks like regression is often part of a powerful trauma pattern called intermittent reinforcement. This pattern keeps
Why Survivors Return: The Grip of Intermittent Reinforcement Read More »
When survivors do not know what they like, want, or feel, that is not dysfunction. That is trauma. Dear Colleague, One of the quietest wounds survivors carry is the erosion of one’s self. After prolonged coercive control, even simple choices can feel overwhelming. Survivors may find a struggle to name their preferences, identify their values,
Helping Survivors Reclaim Identity after Coercive Control Read More »
Strength is not something we give survivors. It is something we recognize in them. Dear Colleague, Too often, support begins with the assumption that something is wrong. When providers enter the room ready to fix, we reinforce the belief that survivors are damaged. Even gentle guidance can feel like correction when it is not requested.
Survivors Are Not Broken. We Must Stop Treating Them That Way. Read More »
Sometimes even our most encouraging words can leave survivors of abusive relationship feeling unseen. Dear Colleague, Empowering language can become a burden when survivors are not ready to carry it. Phrases like “you’re so strong” or “you’ve got this” are meant to uplift, but they can land as expectations. Survivors may feel they have to
When Empowering Survivors Starts to Feel Like Pressure Read More »
Some days, helping survivors will confront parts of you that you have not healed yet. Dear Colleague, Helping survivors often surfaces your own unprocessed wounds. Even the most seasoned provider can feel caught off guard by an emotional reaction. These reactions may come from past personal trauma, grief, or even early professional burnout. No one
The Thing Nobody Tells You About Helping Survivors Read More »
Healing after trauma is rarely a straight line — it’s a winding path that survivors must walk at their own pace, with curiosity as our greatest companion. Dear Colleague, When I first began working with survivors, I thought my role was to guide them swiftly toward solutions. The bravest thing we can do as therapists
The Survivor’s Journey: How Curiosity Transforms the Healing Process Read More »