Some questions echo louder in silence than when spoken aloud.
Dear Survivor,
When you find yourself wondering, “Was my relationship abusive?” that question alone holds power. It’s the beginning of truth-making, of choosing to listen to your own experiences instead of minimizing them. Even asking means you’re tuning in to something within you that needs acknowledgment and care.
Abuse isn’t always obvious. Abusive relationships can feel confusing.
It’s not always bruises or broken doors. Sometimes, it’s the way your voice disappeared in the relationship, or how your boundaries were always pushed just past your comfort. It’s how you learned to second-guess yourself, to apologize even when you didn’t know what you did wrong. Emotional abuse often works in subtle, persistent patterns that make you question your worth and sanity.
Clarity can feel both relieving and shattering.
You may remember good times. You may still love them. You may even hope it could be different. But none of that erases the impact of consistent control, manipulation, or cruelty. It’s okay to hold conflicting emotions. What matters is that your pain is real, your story matters, and you deserve safety and healing. There is a path forward. Reach out for therapy with me or someone else. Your healing matters.
Abuse is about power and control, not just conflict or dysfunction.
If you’re unsure, this Types of Abuse Worksheet can offer clarity. It outlines emotional, psychological, verbal, and physical forms of abuse that are often dismissed or misunderstood. You don’t need proof or a label to begin healing. You only need your truth.
Healing begins the moment you believe yourself.
Your question is brave. And your healing? It’s already in motion.
Blessings and healing,
Catrina
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