When Empowering Survivors Starts to Feel Like Pressure

Sometimes even our most encouraging words can leave survivors of abusive relationship feeling unseen.

Dear Colleague,

Empowering language can become a burden when survivors are not ready to carry it.

Phrases like “you’re so strong” or “you’ve got this” are meant to uplift, but they can land as expectations. Survivors may feel they have to perform resilience before they feel it. This can create shame where there should be space. Consider your language carefully.

True empowerment meets people where they are, not where we hope they’ll be.

When we rush someone’s healing, we risk bypassing the very pain they need to process. Survivors deserve the freedom to feel overwhelmed, afraid, or ambivalent. Presence is more powerful than cheerleading.

Support is not measured by momentum. Empowering Survivors requires patience.

Some days, holding steady is the most courageous act a survivor can manage. We must learn to value stillness as part of the healing journey. Encouragement should feel like an open hand, not a push forward.

Let your affirmation sound like permission, not pressure.

Ask how survivors want to be supported instead of assuming. Reflect what you hear more than what you hope for. Empowerment after abuse begins with voice, choice, and safety. Presence and patience are key.

You can reinforce that message using the Reclaiming Your Strength Workbook. This workbook is a great resource for helping guide survivors through recovery from an abusive relationship. It provides education, activities for self exploration and healing.

With appreciation for all you do,

Catrina LPCS

P.S. The work you do is important. Remember to take care of yourself and seek out peer support. Remember we offer a free monthly peer support group. It’s offered the second Monday of each month. Sign up here: www.catrinalpcs.com/providers.

#supportsurvivors #traumainformedcare #empowermentafterabuse #healingafterabuse #providereducation

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