Healing after abuse happens in micro-moves. These small shifts deserve to be seen and supported. Dear Colleague, In trauma therapy, it’s common to witness a client return to the same relationship, cancel sessions, or describe ongoing patterns that seem unchanged. It can feel discouraging, even like progress isn’t happening. But healing after abuse doesn’t always […]
Healing After Abuse: Why Micro-Moves Matter for Survivors Read More »
Feeling like you’re “too much” is often the scar left by someone who made you feel like not enough or too needy. Your needs are valid, too. Dear Survivor, I can’t tell you how many survivors I’ve met who shrink themselves before they even speak. They hesitate to share their feelings, fearing they’ll overwhelm or
Dear Survivor: You Are Not Too Much Read More »
Longing for someone who hurt you does not mean you’re broken. Dear Survivor, Many I work with tell me how confusing it feels to miss their abusive partner. They ask themselves, “Do I want to be hurt?” “What’s wrong with me?” “Why do I still love someone who caused me pain?” These questions are incredibly
Why Do I Still Miss My Abuser? Read More »
Self-blame is a scar survivors carry, not because it’s true, but because it felt safer than the truth. Dear Survivor, If you’ve ever thought, I blame myself for the abuse, please pause and take a breath with me. That feeling is so real, so heavy, and so common. Many survivors carry the belief that they
Why Do I Blame Myself for the Abuse? Read More »
Every survivor needs a foundation of safety before healing can begin. Dear Colleague, Survivors often walk into our offices carrying invisible alarms that never turn off. Safety is not just physical. It includes emotional, psychological, sexual, and financial dimensions that are frequently overlooked. As providers, we are not only asked to recognize danger. We are
Every Survivor Deserves to Feel Safe. Here’s Where We Start Read More »
Some choices save your life even when they shatter your heart. Dear Survivor, “The day I blocked him, my hands were shaking so badly I could barely hold the phone. I felt nauseous, terrified, and strangely guilty. No one had taught me how to walk away from someone who claimed to love me while tearing
Going No Contact Nearly Broke Me But I Would Do It Again Read More »
Missing them doesn’t mean you were wrong to leave, it means you’re human. Dear Survivor, If you’ve ever thought, Why do I miss someone who hurt me? please know that this feeling is more common than most people realize. It can feel like your heart is betraying your mind. You know the relationship was harmful.
Why Do I Miss Someone Who Hurt Me? Read More »
Believing survivors starts long before we say the words out loud. Dear Colleague, Many of us say we believe survivors, but our actions and reactions can tell another story. We second-guess timelines, ask for more details, or look for signs that someone is “credible.” These micro-validations communicate that survivors must prove their pain. And they
We Say “Believe Survivors,” But Do We Really? Read More »
Missing someone who hurt you does not mean you’re broken. It means you’re human. Dear Survivor, A distraught survivor once asked me, “Why do I still miss him? After everything he did, why do I still feel drawn to him?” That question lives inside so many survivors. And it’s often followed by shame. The answer,
Why Do I Miss My Abusive Ex? Read More »
Caring deeply is not the same as being equipped to help safely. Dear Colleague, Even the most compassionate provider can cause harm without realizing it. When we rely solely on empathy without examining our approach, we may unintentionally silence or steer survivors. What we think is support can feel like control when it overrides their
Why Good Intentions Cannot Stand Alone in Survivor Support Read More »