Small routines can become acts of radical healing. Dear Survivor, One client used to dread the sound of her alarm. Mornings were once filled with anxiety, bracing for criticism, rushing to meet impossible demands, or waiting for the first blow of disapproval. Even after she left, her body still woke with fear. Peace felt unreachable. […]
How I Reclaimed My Morning After Years of Fear Read More »
The most radical thing we can do is believe them. Dear Colleague, Gaslighting is not just deception. It is distortion. It erodes a survivor’s trust in their own memory, emotions, and instincts. Over time, this tactic chips away at their ability to name harm, speak up, or even trust their own thoughts. Survivors in this
Gaslighting and the Survivor’s Truth: Restoring Inner Knowing Read More »
Grieving the good moments does not mean you asked for the bad ones. Dear Survivor, One survivor said it best: “If he had been awful all the time, I would have left sooner.” She remembered the way he made her laugh, the quiet nights when he held her, the moments that looked like love. Those
The Abuser Wasn’t Always Cruel and That’s What Hurts Read More »
Healing does not mean forgetting. It means becoming someone new on purpose. Dear Colleague, Trauma shakes the ground beneath a survivor’s feet. It can fracture identity, warp trust, and turn the future into something that feels either blank or terrifying. But healing is not just about repairing damage. It can also be about discovering new
Beyond Survival: Supporting Post-Traumatic Growth in Survivors Read More »
Not everything that feels safe is actually good for you. Dear Survivor, A client once told me she was unsure if her new relationship was healthy or just less harmful. Her partner did not yell or insult her, but there was a lingering sense of unease. She felt confused by her own reactions. The warmth
Is This Healthy or Just Familiar? Read More »
Sometimes freedom carries unexpected grief. Dear Survivor, A survivor once told me that the more she healed, the worse she felt. She was no longer walking on eggshells, yet she carried a quiet ache. She felt guilty for laughing. Guilty for moving on. Guilty for feeling okay when others she knew were still stuck or
Survivor Guilt: Why Healing Can Feel Like Betrayal Read More »
When we release control, we make room for survivors to reclaim theirs. Dear Colleague, Survivor decisions are not always what we expect. Some stay. Some leave and return. Some say yes in session and no in real life. These moments can feel disheartening, even confusing. But they are not wrong. They are information. Every choice
Every Choice Is a Step: Honoring Survivor Decision-Making Read More »
Sometimes silence feels more threatening than chaos. Dear Survivor, One woman I worked with described how anxious she felt in her first healthy relationship. There were no raised voices, no sudden mood swings, no punishments for speaking her mind. On the outside, everything looked calm. But inside, she was panicked. Her body could not relax,
I Was Afraid of Peace Because I Thought It Meant Danger Read More »
You are not broken. You are absorbing what is too much for one heart to carry alone. Dear Colleague, Vicarious trauma is not a personal failing. It is a natural response to holding story after story of harm, survival, and resilience. It builds slowly. One session, one disclosure, one crisis at a time. And often,
Caring Comes at a Cost: Vicarious Trauma in Survivor Work Read More »
It didn’t feel brave, it felt terrifying. Dear Survivor, One client once described a moment that changed her life. She had spent years silencing herself to keep the peace, believing that pleasing others was the safest way to survive. Every time she wanted to say “No,” she swallowed it, afraid of what might come next.
The First Time I Said “No” and Meant It Read More »