Sometimes the systems we create for safety end up reinforcing control. Dear Colleague, We are taught to protect survivors, but protection can look a lot like power. When we take over a survivor’s safety plan, we may unintentionally mirror the dynamics they are trying to escape. Safety built on control, even benevolent control, can feel […]
What If Everything We Know About Survivor Safety Is Wrong Read More »
Sometimes even our most encouraging words can leave survivors of abusive relationship feeling unseen. Dear Colleague, Empowering language can become a burden when survivors are not ready to carry it. Phrases like “you’re so strong” or “you’ve got this” are meant to uplift, but they can land as expectations. Survivors may feel they have to
When Empowering Survivors Starts to Feel Like Pressure Read More »
There is a quiet power in hearing yourself again after surviving what tried to silence you. Dear Survivor, Your voice is still yours. It may feel buried beneath doubt or fear, but it has never truly left you. I remember the first moment I heard mine clearly again. It happened during a small decision, one
Survivor Strength: Reclaiming Your Inner Voice Read More »
Healing doesn’t always move in a straight line. Dear Survivor, I thought leaving would be the hard part. I believed that once I got out, the pain would fade and peace would follow. I imagined progress would feel like clarity, like I had crossed a finish line. But instead, I found myself triggered by small
Survivor Strength: Healing Isn’t Linear and That’s Okay Read More »
Some of the most dangerous moments in a survivor’s life happen right after they decide to leave. Dear Colleague, Leaving is often the most life threatening decision a survivor can make. Studies show that women are 70 times more likely to be killed in the weeks after leaving than at any other time in the
Survivors Are Dying to Leave. Literally. Read More »
Sometimes, the bravest thing a survivor can say is no more. Dear Survivor, There was a moment in my own journey when I whispered two words that would change everything: no more. I didn’t shout them. There was no dramatic scene. Just a quiet declaration made in the middle of an ordinary day that felt
Survivor Wisdom: The Power of No More Read More »
Isolation feeds shame — connection breathes life into healing. Dear Survivor, Abuse thrives in isolation. It teaches you to keep secrets, to distrust others, to believe you’re the only one who feels this broken. Narcissistic abuse, in particular, carves out loneliness like a second home, leaving survivors stranded in their own pain. But you were
You Are Not Alone: Finding Your Survivor Community Read More »
Minimizing your pain doesn’t make you stronger — it only makes healing harder. Dear Survivor, How many times did you tell yourself, “It wasn’t that bad”? Maybe you stayed because you thought others had it worse. Maybe you believed love meant forgiving everything. Maybe your abusive partner convinced you that the harm wasn’t real. Gaslighting
The Myth of “It Wasn’t That Bad.” Read More »
Some wounds are invisible to everyone — except the one carrying them. Dear Survivor, Emotional abuse leaves scars no one else can see. It seeps into your self-worth, erodes your confidence, and twists your understanding of love. You begin to question your instincts, your memories, even your sense of who you are after surviving a
The Silent Scars: Healing After Narcissistic Abuse Read More »
Survival begins the moment you dare to believe your voice deserves to be heard. Dear Survivor, I remember the moment I realized my voice had been taken from me. It wasn’t through one loud event, but a thousand small ones — the times I was ignored, the moments my feelings were twisted, the steady drumbeat
The Survivor First Steps: Reclaiming Your Voice Read More »