Self-doubt does not always come from within, sometimes it is taught. Dear Survivor, One of the most painful truths survivors share with me is this: “I don’t know how to trust myself anymore.” That feeling does not come out of nowhere. It is built, crafted, piece by piece, through patterns of gaslighting and manipulation. When […]
How Gaslighting Stole My Voice Read More »
When survivors do not know what they like, want, or feel, that is not dysfunction. That is trauma. Dear Colleague, One of the quietest wounds survivors carry is the erosion of one’s self. After prolonged coercive control, even simple choices can feel overwhelming. Survivors may find a struggle to name their preferences, identify their values,
Helping Survivors Reclaim Identity after Coercive Control Read More »
Healing after abuse happens in micro-moves. These small shifts deserve to be seen and supported. Dear Colleague, In trauma therapy, it’s common to witness a client return to the same relationship, cancel sessions, or describe ongoing patterns that seem unchanged. It can feel discouraging, even like progress isn’t happening. But healing after abuse doesn’t always
Healing After Abuse: Why Micro-Moves Matter for Survivors Read More »
Believing survivors starts long before we say the words out loud. Dear Colleague, Many of us say we believe survivors, but our actions and reactions can tell another story. We second-guess timelines, ask for more details, or look for signs that someone is “credible.” These micro-validations communicate that survivors must prove their pain. And they
We Say “Believe Survivors,” But Do We Really? Read More »
Caring deeply is not the same as being equipped to help safely. Dear Colleague, Even the most compassionate provider can cause harm without realizing it. When we rely solely on empathy without examining our approach, we may unintentionally silence or steer survivors. What we think is support can feel like control when it overrides their
Why Good Intentions Cannot Stand Alone in Survivor Support Read More »
Strength is not something we give survivors. It is something we recognize in them. Dear Colleague, Too often, support begins with the assumption that something is wrong. When providers enter the room ready to fix, we reinforce the belief that survivors are damaged. Even gentle guidance can feel like correction when it is not requested.
Survivors Are Not Broken. We Must Stop Treating Them That Way. Read More »
No is a complete sentence, even when your voice trembles. Dear Survivor, Saying no used to feel impossible for me. I remember the weight in my chest every time I wanted to speak up but didn’t. My silence wasn’t because I agreed. It was because I had been taught that protecting others from discomfort mattered
Survivor Boundaries: Learning to Say No Without Guilt Read More »
Some days, helping survivors will confront parts of you that you have not healed yet. Dear Colleague, Helping survivors often surfaces your own unprocessed wounds. Even the most seasoned provider can feel caught off guard by an emotional reaction. These reactions may come from past personal trauma, grief, or even early professional burnout. No one
The Thing Nobody Tells You About Helping Survivors Read More »
Some of the most dangerous moments in a survivor’s life happen right after they decide to leave. Dear Colleague, Leaving is often the most life threatening decision a survivor can make. Studies show that women are 70 times more likely to be killed in the weeks after leaving than at any other time in the
Survivors Are Dying to Leave. Literally. Read More »
For survivors, trust isn’t just given. It has to be rebuilt piece by piece over time. Dear Colleague, Helping survivors rebuild trust after abuse is one of the most delicate parts of relationship recovery. There are many things that influence the survivor’s ability to relearn trust. Trusting oneself after being challenged year after year, day
Trust After Abuse: Helping Survivors Rebuild Safely Read More »