When we release control, we make room for survivors to reclaim theirs. Dear Colleague, Survivor decisions are not always what we expect. Some stay. Some leave and return. Some say yes in session and no in real life. These moments can feel disheartening, even confusing. But they are not wrong. They are information. Every choice […]
Every Choice Is a Step: Honoring Survivor Decision-Making Read More »
It is not defiance. It is protection. And sometimes, it is clarity. Dear Colleague, Survivor resistance can show up in quiet ways. A canceled session. A non-answer to a powerful question. A shift in energy when a certain topic comes up. As providers, it is tempting to interpret this as avoidance or denial. But more
You are not broken. You are absorbing what is too much for one heart to carry alone. Dear Colleague, Vicarious trauma is not a personal failing. It is a natural response to holding story after story of harm, survival, and resilience. It builds slowly. One session, one disclosure, one crisis at a time. And often,
Caring Comes at a Cost: Vicarious Trauma in Survivor Work Read More »
What looks like protection may actually be power and control. Financial abuse is real and, often, very covert. Dear Colleague, Financial abuse is one of the least recognized forms of control in intimate partner violence. It often hides behind the appearance of care. A partner offers to manage the bills, handle the bank account, or
When Care Is Control: Understanding Financial Abuse in Survivors’ Lives Read More »
It is not weakness. It is conditioning. And it is trauma. Dear Colleague, One of the most painful things providers witness is when a survivor returns to a harmful relationship. It can feel heartbreaking and disorienting. But what looks like regression is often part of a powerful trauma pattern called intermittent reinforcement. This pattern keeps
Why Survivors Return: The Grip of Intermittent Reinforcement Read More »
When survivors do not know what they like, want, or feel, that is not dysfunction. That is trauma. Dear Colleague, One of the quietest wounds survivors carry is the erosion of one’s self. After prolonged coercive control, even simple choices can feel overwhelming. Survivors may find a struggle to name their preferences, identify their values,
Helping Survivors Reclaim Identity after Coercive Control Read More »
Healing after abuse happens in micro-moves. These small shifts deserve to be seen and supported. Dear Colleague, In trauma therapy, it’s common to witness a client return to the same relationship, cancel sessions, or describe ongoing patterns that seem unchanged. It can feel discouraging, even like progress isn’t happening. But healing after abuse doesn’t always
Healing After Abuse: Why Micro-Moves Matter for Survivors Read More »
Every survivor needs a foundation of safety before healing can begin. Dear Colleague, Survivors often walk into our offices carrying invisible alarms that never turn off. Safety is not just physical. It includes emotional, psychological, sexual, and financial dimensions that are frequently overlooked. As providers, we are not only asked to recognize danger. We are
Every Survivor Deserves to Feel Safe. Here’s Where We Start Read More »
Believing survivors starts long before we say the words out loud. Dear Colleague, Many of us say we believe survivors, but our actions and reactions can tell another story. We second-guess timelines, ask for more details, or look for signs that someone is “credible.” These micro-validations communicate that survivors must prove their pain. And they
Caring deeply is not the same as being equipped to help safely. Dear Colleague, Even the most compassionate provider can cause harm without realizing it. When we rely solely on empathy without examining our approach, we may unintentionally silence or steer survivors. What we think is support can feel like control when it overrides their
Why Good Intentions Cannot Stand Alone in Survivor Support Read More »